Nov. 29, 2008: Five Things You May Not Know

Dear Friends,
Here are five things you may not know about me:

ONE: I have voted in every election since I was old enough to vote, and the first person I voted for was Jimmy Carter. I was in my late teens, and living with my father at the time, and when I went to bed on election night the votes were still not all counted and I didn’t know who had won. I woke at 5 a.m. to the sound of my father hollering up the stairs, "He WON!" I ran down and there was, quite literally, dancing in the kitchen. We were so excited. The feeling I had on this past November 4th was similar, times a thousand.
I have voted Republican twice in my life, although not in a presidential election. I am a lifelong registered Democrat, but I broke party lines to vote for Michael Bloomberg for mayor of New York, and George Pataki for Governor.

TWO: I’m not very tall. I seem to give the impression of height, and I like wearing high heels, which adds to the illusion, but I am actually just a bit over 5’5". None of the women on my mother’s side were tall, and on my father’s side, the only tall woman was my father’s mother, my grandmother Carrie Cash, who was five feet ten. For her generation, that was a remarkable height for a woman, and she stood taller than her husband. My father must have gotten his height from her, because he was 6’2", while his father was only about 5’8". My husband, Mr. L, is also 6’2". All my daughters are around my height and we look like a band of gnomes when we are all together in a room with Mr. L. My son, who is only nine, is up to my chest and will most likely be taller than me in three years.

THREE: I have a painfully refined sense of etiquette and good manners are incredibly important to me. Bad behavior shocks me. Truly. This is who I am. "Without manners, you can achieve familiarity, but not intimacy." This is a mandate for me.

FOUR: I don’t have a fan club. By choice. I don’t like the idea of it, I don’t court celebrity for the sake of celebrity and I don’t consider that if you bought my record or came to my show, that I own you or you own me. I assume you are complicated, and that is the only assumption I make. And by the way, I’m also complicated. There is no simple equation of an unequal partnership, substituting for relationship or society, which would tempt my participation. Fan Clubs, Myth-making, Gratuitous Self-promotion… none of it interests me in the least. What interests me is art, music, dialogue, the exchange of ideas, the progress of love, the human soul. Unity. Discussion. Transcendence. I want to be inspired. And have a decent cup of tea while it’s happening.

FIVE: Which brings me to my last revelation: I observe teatime every single day, between 3 and 4 in the afternoon, with a porcelain pot, boiling water, milk and honey and tea from either Harney and Sons or Mariage Freres. I bought my porcelain teapot with it’s attached silver cover, which functions as a tea cozy, in Paris at the Mariage Freres shop on the Left Bank. I carried it by hand back to New York and one of my greatest fears is that a child will knock it off the counter and shatter it. Teatime is the most civilizing of occupations, and has straightened out many a rough day, clarified reams of muddy thoughts, provided sparks of inspiration and ideas, and re-set the trajectory of my days and evenings. It is best enjoyed with a friend, and conversation, although if you are alone, some music and a newspaper will also provide the missing contours of a perfect teatime. When I was recovering from brain surgery, for the first couple of months a steady stream of girlfriends came to my house to have tea with me nearly every day, as they all knew this was my most cherished social habit. One friend gave me a perfect bed tray and I remember one day when I was absolutely miserable with pain, two girlfriends came over, set up the tea on the tray on the bed, climbed on the bed with me, and put on a old Bette Davis movie. No talking, just tea and and the love of my friends and a perfect chick flick. It was better than morphine.

Addendum to the five things: I love my girlfriends. You know who you are.

Love from

Mrs. L,
political, polite, on the short side, social and well-caffeinated.